Yoga Postures for Our Times

From Hatha Yoga to Bikram Choudhury's Hot Yoga, the ancient discipline to balance the mind, body and soul and keep it well... disciplined has gone through periodic variations to suit changing needs and demands. Baba Ramdev's stomach-churning methods have earned him an enviable following but there are other yoga postures that are more suited to the times we live in. Here are some that are gaining in popularity.

Nexus Plexus: Originally called Chaturanga Dandasana, this ancient pose translated into the four-pronged staff posture, but now refers to the position adopted by staff in the coal ministry to search for "missing" files. It involves a four-stage exercise which starts with all bureaucrats extending their arms and moving them rapidly up and down to mimic the search for files that are non-existent thanks to the process called nexus plexus. The second stage sees them jumping up and down to signal that some files have been found, but not the ones that are required. The third stage is a typical bureaucratic reflex, to hire retired staff members to join the search since they know where all the bodies are buried. Finally, the head sways from side to side to signify the most recognisable bureaucratic posture called The Abominable No Man.

The Potency Posture: The traditional posture was called Urdhva Hastasana or the Raised Arms Pose, familiar to followers of Asaram Bapu or those watching his yoga show on TV. Now that the question is about a potency test and whether other body parts can also be raised, it's renamed the Lying in Bed Posture, since it has to be performed lying on a bed and only with female followers. Alternatively, it can also mean that Asaram is lying about what he did on the bed and that 'spiritual healing' may have become a more hands-on exercise.

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